It was established quite early on in my life that I love drama and am an attention seeker. I’d never intentionally hurt myself but I’d gladly show off battle scars. I like to go on and on about things.
At 14 I was told that I’d not only need braces, but I’d need headgear too! Oh the horror! Mom promised that I’d get one of those pixie style beanies that were so en vogue in the 90’s. Alas! No headgear, so I didn’t get the beanie. I still hold on to the disappointment, I would have loved the attention and pity.
In my early 20’s I did a free 5 minute eye test – the results were grim, I urgently needed to see an optometrist, as I was clearly living in a blurred world. Again, the horror, until I spotted a gorgeous pair of blue frames as I waited for my proper assessment. Did I need glasses after all? No. The same thing happened about ten years later and I dreamt of tortoise shell nerd glasses. I really don’t trust those machines, I can never get my chin into the correct spot.
A few years ago I’d resolved myself to jaw surgery and weeks of recovery, where sustained on liquidised food I’d get svelte and get lots of presents. No, instead I got to wear a sexy gum guard to bed. How could have been disappointed? I’m was clearly insane!
Last year I had open heart surgery. It was dramatic. There was a lot of attention thrust upon me because my condition was pretty rare for someone in their thirties. I have a huge battle scar. It wasn’t glamorous and exciting. I now deal with extra issues of high blood pressure, blood thinners and having to work very hard on my fitness. Maybe it was the overdose of drama or maybe I’ve grown up, I no longer crave drama and attention. I’ve hung up my attention seeker sash.
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